Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Sensitivity...

I had gone through a phase where my very delicate-sensitive nature had become tough. Well the toughest I have ever been. I find myself slipping back into that sensitivity. More and more each day I feel the pressures, stresses and disappointments weighing me down. I know that I can't let disappointments lead my life, however, maybe it is indeed okay to be sensitive. If I am sensitive to the needs of others, if I am sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and maybe, just MAYBE it IS okay for me to have sensitive feelings. I wish that the things people said and did, didn't bother me. I wish broken promises or intentions didn't hurt the way they do. I wish that relationships didn't mean so much. That is a very sad thing for me to say. I really do try to be honest, sincere and loving with all those I interact with, but when I don't feel that reciprocated I start to wonder...who is this for? And if it doesn't matter to the other person...WHY should it matter to me? That isn't the person I have ever been, nor will I ever be that way. I will give and go out of my way and give the benefit of the doubt time and time again, even when it hurts that it isn't returned. Even when all I want to do is cry because this time was going to be different, this time *I* was going to be the priority. Now I am in NO way claiming to be a saint. I make my fair share of mistakes. I say the wrong thing, or I drop the ball...QUITE often, but I try, I hope I am helpful and not just a nuisance. None the less, THIS is who I am! Sensitive! Maybe I shouldn't try to change me. I just need to realize that a lot of things happen, and when I am SO sensitive I am really only hurting myself. Wish I could turn that off!

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