Virtue...

Why is that people seem to think your virtue is only worth something if you have had to stop yourself midway from getting into BIG trouble? Why is it not enough for some people to realize that if you guard your virtue well enough you wont be put in a compromising position in the first place. Seriously, if I hear, "it's easier to fall into it than you think..." ONE more time, I think my head is going to blow up! If you DON'T put yourself there, it WON'T be easy to fall into, comprendo? And why is it that people think because the so called "opportunity" has never passed your way, you have no troubles, no problems, or no trials. Try saving yourself, and then have people tear you down and say you are only "virtuous" because you couldn't get any. We live in a ridiculous world! I wish that people would try to build each other up rather than find the next great dig. I know, I know...some people "didn't mean it the way it came out..." well maybe you need to think before you speak. I've kept myself holy, and clean, and tried to be the best person I could, and you know what. The Lord knows that. I guess I can rest assured that He knows my intentions. For anyone who feels the same way, we ARE good enough, and we should never think that our purity is anything less than a gift to and from God.

Finding out who I am

I've decided growing up is THE hardest thing to do. Maybe its just the finding out who you are part. I didn't think it was possible to change so much, or change so fast! I feel like one minute I am a scared little girl, and the next, well I'm confident and ready to tackle anything with a slight air of defiance. Who do I WANT to be? I've always been that good little mormon girl. Who says I can't be that girl while also being more. I guess I am just so sick of being the pleaser, the one who wants to make everyone else happy. I guess I am starting to realize that I am not a little girl anymore, I'm a woman, coming into my own. I need to make decisions that benefit me! I need to let go of the stupid drama, and feelings of inadequacy. I have done pretty well for myself. So who cares I am not exactly where I thought I would be. I am on the road with just a slight detour. I am going to take myself and life a little less serious. I am going to care about myself and MY decisions, and not worry over other people's choices. I can't change what is done, it only hurts to dwell. So I guess my new mission in life is to let go of the hurt, the pain, the regret...everything negative that I can't change. I'm only going to linger on the things that are important, and that I can do something about.

Life at it's finest!

So I have found myself living at home once again....I kinda didn't think I would ever be back here. It is a trial! Don't get me wrong, I really am grateful!! I am SO happy to not have to pay rent, and I am glad to be near my family! I get to see my Great-Grandmother, (Gigi, Grand-Poobah, G-ma, you may know her as one of these!) she is pretty much my best friend in the whole world!! She gets me, she loves me, and she always encourages me to make the most of myself! She appreciates me for me, and she genuinely compliments me, that always makes a girl feel good!!
Anyhow, the biggest problem with being back home is my lack of social life, my lack of institute and my lack of motivation. It is definitely difficult to be the only young single adult in your town and ward. Luckily I have found an AWESOMELY amazing friend named Steph! She is married and has two kids. She is an example of what I hope to achieve in my life, and I have been privileged to get to know her. She was called to be the Young Women president in our ward, and she called me as her second counselor. We have had such a fun time together and I really feel like we are making a difference. We have our hard times, but with the Lord's help we are plugging along! I never thought I would be in YW so young. I feel like I just left. It amazes me how fast your whole life and outlook can change. I didn't realize I could get so attached and feel so protective, not only so fast, but at all. I enjoy it more than I ever thought I would!
I guess all-in-all it isn't so bad to be home. I love my family, I am grateful for my calling and for finding Steph, those things make all the bad things worth it in the end!

Blogging Virgin

I have finally decided to jump on the blogging train! I figure I am more likely to make a record of my life if I get to type and try to make it pretty. So...here goes!