I decided to differentiate from the last post for this little talk. Ya' see, while I was in Utah, I got a call from my Gigi. She told me my Papa probably wasn't going to make it through the day. As "prepared"as I thought I was for this call, I lost it. And while part of me was FURIOUS with myself for going to Utah when I had a feeling to go home that weekend, I was amazingly comforted by the fact that I was with Amber. She knew my feelings, she knew my Papa. I can't ever express to Amber the gratitude I had for her that day!
I got home to Flag about 6:45, I was debating whether or not to just head straight home as soon as I got here, but my mom and Gigi both told me I needed to stay in Flag and not miss class. As I brought my luggage in from the car I got a call from my sister that said my Papa had passed away. It was so difficult to hear the words, and as sad as I was mostly for my Gigi, I felt a sense of relief that he was no longer in pain. My Gigi and Papa are the crux of our family, and even though we all knew this was inevitable, it still shook us.
I think where I found the greatest strength was my older sister. She was there for my Gigi, and she was there for me. I feel I have grown closer to her from this experience. She made sure I was okay, even in her time of grief, she took care of me. I love her, and probably don't tell her that enough! It is amazing how tragedy or loss can make you really appreciate what you have!
You may be wondering about the Blog title...I would be...October....it isn't just any month, it just so happens to be the month my father passed away 10 years ago. 10 years, nearly half my life he has been gone. My mom said, "Just cry the whole month of October and you will be fine the rest of the year!" I guess loss just makes us stronger. And as weird as this is for me, death isn't quite as scary as it used to be. I don't see it as an end at all anymore. For the first time in my life, I realize that it is just the means to something greater.
2 comments:
Hey Katie! I found your blog. I'm sorry October's not such a good month for you! But you're right, losing someone only makes you grow stonger. I hope you're doing ok!
First off, I love you too! Second, I know this is sad, but I didn’t remember that dad died in October until I read it in your blog but I will never forget the day Papa died, I am sure it is because a he was the best father I ever could have asked for. And b I watched him take his last breath. Anyways, I can’t wait until you’re here (well Parker.) You totally have to come spend a day in kindergarten with us!
Post a Comment