Confused about not being confused.

I felt like this post needed it's very own space

I know that I am at the stage in my life where marriage is a GREAT goal. It is what I want, it is what I SHOULD want. However, it's not that easy! Finding a worthy, dateable, funny, compassionate, church loving man is NOT simple. Especially when yo live somewhere like HAVASU!

And then there is this side of me that says: "Hey, you are good at being single. You have a great life. You are living worthy, you are blessed like CRAZY. You have the job you want, you have had the opportunity to be close to family. You don't have to worry about LEARNING to live with someone. You don't have to think about making someone happy, or learning how to be happy with someone. Life is good. And if you are worthy the Lord will make it right." That's a cheap way out.

And why is it when you DO find someone who you could like...that likes you, there are obstacles. Like: the distance between you...geographically, AND spiritually! A friend told me tonight, (and I am paraphrasing...I am sure she wont mind...) "You are living RIGHT, you do not want to get into a situation where you have to start 'fixing' things." It is SO true. I don't want to have to "get there" I AM there. I want to find someone who is there too!!!

I am also starting to realize that as much as single life is wonderful I am missing out on things like:

Loving

Being loved

Sharing thoughts/feelings

Making a home

Being sealed and having the wonderful blessings of the temple

Having children

Having someone to make decisions with

Laughing with someone who gets YOU

Smiling and knowing what the other is thinking

Having goals together

Staying up late and giggling

Going on dates

Sharing secrets

Snuggling

Holding hands

Sitting with that special someone at church

The priesthood in my home

Someone to call my own...and have him call me his

Fighting over what movie to watch

Laughing at the disasters we encounter

Being a wife

Being a mother

Feeling wanted

Love for eternity!

I have also come to the realization that *I* Kathryn M. Scott CAN be picky about who I marry!! For some reason people think they should "settle" or instead HOPE things will get better or change in a person. I am ALL for being positive. But WHY would I decide to choose someone who cannot take me to the temple, who cannot offer me the priesthood. WHY would I NOT fight with everything I have to make happen what I know is right. What I KNOW the Lord wants. What I KNOW, without ANY doubt in my mind, heart and spirit to be true? I say to you I WILL!! I will NOT settle. I will live worthy, and let the Lord do the rest! It's not too much to ask, because I KNOW the Lord provides a way!

Things I MUST have in an Eternal Companion:

Worthy/Active Priesthood holder

CAN and WANTS to take me to the temple

Service oriented

Wants children

Can laugh at himself and with me

Has and makes goals

Wants to be better, and help me be better

Isn't complacent

Appreciates music

Good Listener

Easy/out going

There are probably a lot more...maybe I will update as they come to me...But that is a pretty good start!

Now...just to BECOME all of those things so I make it fair game!

Oh the chaos!

Alright so I haven't blogged in like a MILLION years!! Life has been CRAZY! I last blogged in January...let's see so that is...6...nearly 7 months. I feel as though I have failed. Remember that goal about being a better blogger? Alas, I am trying.

Events in my life since January:
I have completed my first year of teaching!! Woo-hoo!! It was amazing! I had the best group of kids EVER!! I miss them a lot, but I am excited for them to move on, and am super excited to be teaching KINDERGARTEN this year. That has always been my dream so I am pretty stoked.

I went to girl's camp and have a FANTASTIC time!! We went to Pine Valley Utah, and it was one of the best experiences ever!!! I seriously love the young women's program!

I got realeased from my primary teacher calling and am now primary chorister. (Ask me in a few more weeks if I am excited...;)

I have had the opportunity to have friends come visit! Pam has been here, Pam and Whitney have been here. Amber has visited. I had a complete blast with all of them and hope they felt the same way!!! I want them to come back!!! I have also had the opportunity to go and visit friends and family and I am grateful for those wonderful opportunities!

I have been endowed for a year. Holy CRAZY!! Where did time go?? I have a goal to make it to the temple every month as I head down the two year mark. I started by going in July! Whoot!

Let's see how I have been doing on my goals...

1 - Becoming a better teacher - I am working on it. I don't think this goal will ever stop and I am WAY excited to start the new year.

2 - Taking time for me - well, I'm not sure it has been constructive...but it is a work in progress.

3 - Reading scriptures - I am WORKING on it. A struggle as always but today in church I had an overwhelming desire to be better. To have the Holy Ghost with me ALWAYS, to make sure I take time to feel the comforter around me. I'm going to stop being afraid to ask for that comfort.

4 - Giving my all in my calling - well it is a new calling, and I am trying to be excited as I face new challenges, I will let you know how it goes.

5 - Appreciate friends and family - I am trying to not take them for granted. I know I need to be better at showing my love and appreciation to them.

6 - Saving money - Let's skim over that....haha, I did really well not running out of money for the summer. Does that count??

7 - Voice lessons - remember that money comment? Well it got tight. So, I had to stop...but I hope to try again someday!

8 - Making friends -WOW! This is a hard one when you live in a town where there are not very many people yor age...so it is a working goal!

9 - Attending the temple - As stated above, I am excited to be going. I LOVE the temple!!

10 - Keeping up on laundry - Is this a fair chore?? Haha, Sometimes I am better than others...

11 - Listening to the Holy Ghost - It is something I am learning to be guided by. I need to utilize this AWESOME gift. And I have really and truly started to understand that you don't have to have a smack upside the head...or even a whisper to know what to do. If you are living the way you should a lot of times the answers come without long deliberation. You are guided by having that strength and conviction already in your heart and mind.